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What’s your favorite TV show theme song and why is it Survivor?

The echo of the show’s iconic tribal drums + my phoenetic imitation of the hallmark OHWEEOHWEEOHWEE chants of the tribal chorus live in some of the deepest parts of my somatic and cultural memory. So IMAGINE my horror when I noticed, as I grew older and the season count grew higher, the duration of this sacred melody seemed to become shorter and shorter.

And true it was – what started as a full minute vibe-set and mini pre-show hype session one day, without warning, was slashed to half its original length.

Fine. 30 seconds. Not the amount of time to truly immerse myself in the spirit of Vanuatu but ok. The core elements of the banger are still there. Until another update and suddenly the song was gone.

After 27 seasons, Survivor pulled its iconic beloved anthem and Father Jeffrey Probst himself even popped in to affirm the betrayal.

~I find it important here to mention the Main Title in question required an attention span that never exceeded one minute.~

At first I thought it was an CBS contained event.

But once I “bought the car” of Theme Songs That Have Been Mysteriously Voted Off the Island, I started seeing discarded jingles EVERYWHERE.

Some, I have to admit needed to be yeeted expeditiously – there were some objectively good cuts that happened in this department.

Because here’s the thing, a theme song needs to actually add something to the viewing experience; whether it’s context, vibe setting, micro character development – there’s gotta be a net positive in it being there.

The trouble with some theme intros was that they seemed to take the “perfume ad” approach – in which ambiguously aesthetic camera shots loosely connected to a theme communicated ~an essence~ but provided little practical detail about what the product actually consists of.

I HATE to shame the show that sustained my will to live at various points of my prefrontal lobe development but unfortunately the perfect loser in this department is Grey’s Anatomy. TRULY how does one of the most popular shows of all time even get away with a theme song that gave us nothing and could theoretically be used for 5+ other shows that also take place in a hospital. I HAVE to know what the lead cast thought of booking this gig and losing all their intro theme song face time to feet and tools. No surprise it was axed even sooner than D***Y (no spoilers for Grey’s Anatomy ever because anyone’s journey can start today).

Other networks and shows seemed to follow the trend: RIP to the “look at me I am a business person” NY montages that set the totally believable “working professional” scene in early seasons of Bravo’s Summer House and long gone are Jersey Shore style intro sequences to the ~sweetest bitches you’ll ever meet~ and get to know during the season. And get this, they even shortened the theme song of THE FRESH MF PRINCE. A show whose theme song was the key element that drove its bar-for-bar cementation into the brain shelves of everyone who has ever been near a TV.

So why were theme songs – and theme songs that made so many shows not just popular but cultural ICONS – falling out of vogue so noticeably and suddenly??

Were theme intros, like Sidekicks and Scooby Doo fruit snacks, another flame that burned hot, fast, and out cold in the early 2000s???

As usual, I assumed capitalism was to blame.

And as usual, that was the correct assumption. TLDR; More theme song time means less commercial time. And less commercial time??? BUT WHO WILL THINK OF THE SHAREHOLDERS??????

I will concede this makes sense somewhat for shows working with 30 minutes – one minute lifts heavier storytelling weight in a more compressed timeframe.

But ultimately, networks just weren’t willing to “waste” the time anymore on viewing frills like an intro theme; even though silly me, I just assumed they were, you know, core parts of an experience that weren’t up for negotiation. Just like how with airlines it never occurred to me that the privilege of bringing a singular piece of luggage aboard would be up for takesies backsies. Because why include something by default when it can replaced with *revenue*???

While (spoiler alert) networks could care less if they’re cutting something that’s meaningful to their viewers, I didn’t even have an awareness until recently of just how how key theme songs are in the world storytelling though television.

Theme songs are TOOLS and they tighten and polish the viewer experience.

Every niche has its own even smaller niches – the world of television theme music is no exception. And getting deeper into this unique musical landscape helped me understand that the notes of stage-setting are often just as intentional lines of dialogue or sets in the story itself.

Let’s go down the rabbit hole together shall we and learn about the many flavors of creative musical approaches that help to ground us in expansive new worlds.

1. The Expository Intro Theme

Aka spell this shit out for me and do it quick | An expository theme song “explains, fairly specifically, the premise of the show” (https://tropedia.fandom.com/wiki/Expository_Theme_Tune)

My 1st prize: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – This theme song succinctly and hilariously captures the outlandish backdrop of the show’s premise while also providing a solid, early example of exactly the kind of absurdist and self-deprecating chaotic energy that you’ll see throughout the series.

Examples You’ll Know: The Nanny, The Brady Bunch, Fairly Oddparents

2. The Abstract Lyrical Theme

Aka I’m getting concepts of a story, samples of the vibes, hints and notes of the characters | captures elements of the show’s plot and characters through the lyrics or musical style of the theme music

My 1st Prize: Gilmore Girls | “All you have to do is call my name and I’ll be there/ on the next train/ WHERE YOU LEAD. I WILL FOLLOW.” Perfect no notes – this song will immediately make you think of your someone, your person, the Lorelai to your Rory.

Examples You’ll Know: Friends, Family Guy, Pretty Little Liars

3. The Instrumental Theme

Aka just let the sweet sounds take you away. Instrumental themes are pretty much their name – the theme centers on the instrumental elements of the song instead of explaining or giving detail about the show through lyrical explanation.

My 1st Prize: Succession | Nicholas Britell popped the fuck OFF with this iconic instrumental absolute intro bop. The piano, the agitated and urgent string section, the fact that you enjoy it but it also makes you feel inexplicably tense. Which if you know anything about the show…yup.

Examples You’ll Know: The Office, The Walking Dead, The Simpsons

So with all these 1 minute ABSOLUTE BANGERS making the case for keeping theme music, is there another opp at play in the war against intros?

Well, streaming joined the game and surprise it didn’t help the team

“Skip Intro” – two words that changed the landscape of tv themes and last minute bathroom runs forever. This change pioneered by Netflix hilariously may or may not have aligned directly with the release of Orange is the New Black and its ~lengthy~ associated theme song (not too much on my girl Regina Spektor!!!) This naturally led to the thought: If folks are going to skip the theme song anyways, what’s the point of keeping it?

Plus with streaming, intros lost some of their practical use too. Without the OG doomscrolling of endlessly flipping through 999 DirectTV channels, there aren’t as many random visitors popping into a new tv show just because it’s what’s on and tolerable. Theme songs worked especially well on cable because they helped anyone flipping through the channels get a quick sense of what’s going on and what’s important, no matter where in the 12 hour marathon they joined. Less cable, less catch-up context that has to be built for newbies entering by chance.

Also as viewing culture changes more to megaconsumption in one sitting, we simply don’t need the ~who are these people again~ refresher when we go to the next episode because it hasn’t actually been long enough to need to be reminded of what going on. This vs. the late 1900s when us olds had to wait a week and truly be refreshed in what tf was going on because so much life had happened since we last engaged with the content.

So if we don’t NEED a jingle to give us the 411 anymore, why should one be included at all?

I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED AND THIS I ASSERT WITH FERVOR!!!!!!! -> –>

Honoring space for the “unnecessary” is a deliberate act of defining what matters when dominant forces dictate otherwise.

At the altar of capitalism that our oligarchy offers us as tribute to, anything not explicitly financially generative automatically loses the worth war. In theme songs, immersive storytelling and creative pleasure are displaced by the imposed necessity of text sweepstakes to meet the worst cast member from your favorite show or yet another ad for fucking Latuda.

Whether its a show’s choice to spend an actual full minute to situate the viewer with a theme song or it’s Southwest giving a free checked bag when they *could* charge us – the inclusion of the “unnecessary” insists that something has a meaningful purpose beyond profit – a radical counternarrative to pretty much any industry’s culture of values. When we include the proverbial theme song anyway, we say the extras matter because they are only labeled as dispensable in a system that constantly negotiates away what should be fundamental.

So while the loss of the Survivor theme song may not be a devastating blow to the democratic socialist movement…

It’s a powerful reminder that under structures informed by capitalistic meaning, iconic media is stripped from some its most unique essence and most visceral connection to its audience. The more that storytelling airtime is perpetually on sale to the highest bidder, the more creativity serves the market rather than the holistic experience of a story.

In CONCLUSION…

Theme songs set the tone for the stories we love and connect us to meaning and belonging beyond than ourselves long after the final credits roll.

By stripping the soundtracks of our collective memory, the market decides what stories deserve to last and what is worth remembering.

• How often does the urgency of coin deem overtake the presence of intentional rituals that provide moments to connect and remember?

• Who benefits from the loss of these collective memories and belonging forged in the 60 sacred seconds of the “unnecessary”?

When we cut the extra seconds, we lose the things that make experiences feel rich.

When every second is optimized for profit, the “unnecessary” moments, the ones that build nostalgia, deepen connection, and tether stories to collective memory often become the first to go. Skip the theme song, eat at your desk, answer emails at red lights – optimize every moment until there’s nothing left to savor.

In the cultural imperative to maximize time, we’ve minimized meaning.

A song, a pause, a breath before the story seems skippable, but so does everything that prioritizes being human over being profitable. The world of media will say theme songs aren’t necessary. But neither is chocolate cake for dessert or a good-bye kiss before work or a Squishmallow.

Efficiency is their priority. Insisting upon the humanity of the unnecessary must be ours.